random silly complaints

My friend, wolfy and I rp sometimes... and I really wish he would stop pulling out infinitely powerful weapons! >:I It kind of bothers me that if he wanted to he could just kill off any character that pissed him off. Like, today he was gonna kill off my character, Blitz. I mean, I can understand that Blitz is a mean-ass bitch, but it's just not fair. I have a plan for him, and Wolfy shouldn't interrupt that plan.

Oh well... that's kind of trivial anyway. There's something kind of more serious going on...
He might leave forever. I'm kind of frustrated, but I can't blame him for wanting to leave. His family doesn't appreciate him very much.

I guess this is what I get, isn't it.... I abandoned someone recently............ Maybe I deserve to be abandoned too.

finally broke up

I finally broke up with him like I've been writing about. It was about 45 minutes ago. I don't know how to feel about it. Right now I don't feel much of anything. I'm sure when my mother finds out I'll be forced to have an emotion. But for the moment I'm not sure that it's really sunk in.

I won't see Dustin again.

Even typing that sentence didn't bring about anything. Maybe it's just that I've been tied up in knots for days now, trying to figure out how to do it. Now it's done.

I gotta figure out what to tell my mother. She's gonna ask why, obviously. I guess I'll just tell her the truth; I did it because I've been freaking out over it for days and I needed to get it off my chest. And then I'll plead with her to not be angry with me (she threw a huge fit over my last break up).

Boyfriend...

We have done a lot for each other during our time together. We've had each other's backs and genuinely cared about one another. But things just don't seem right anymore. It doesn't feel like it used to. And I think I know what it is.

We're not really friends anymore. The whole friendship factor in our relationship has disappeared. This was the basis of my romantic feelings toward you; without it, there is no romance. I don't know what's going to happen to us, but you need to grow up and start getting used to the idea that things don't always work out.

Before I go any further, don't you start threatening me with suicide! That is incredibly childish and selfish. I cannot be held responsible for your life! I still care about you very much, but this whole thing hurts like a bitch and I really just need to tell you how things REALLY are.

Now, I'm tired of talking about SOME DAY being able to hang out together and get to be friends again. I'm  tired of hearing that you're doing everything you can to make me happy. The point is that it isn't working.

But most of all, I'm tired of feeling like this lack of romantic feeling is somehow my fault or your fault. The truth is, it isn't anyone's fault. It's just something that happened.

So, let me know when you're actually ready to form a friendship with me again. Because, until then, any romance that happens between us just feels like a lie.

Sincerely
Me

We need to break up....
Things are just depressing.
We never see each other.
When we talk on the phone he doesn't ask about me. He doesn't seem interested. I went on a trip this past weekend and when I got back he didn't ask about it at all.
I don't have fun with him. We never do anything together unless it's sex and, frankly, I just don't like sex. At least not these days.
We don't talk about anything- we don't have deep, engaging discussions like we used to. We hardly have anything to talk about.

Boyfriend......

We're just not good together anymore. I know you love me and I love you, too. But, to be honest, every time I think about you I just feel depressed.

I don't like having sex, any more. I'm never satisfied. I always start to have a panic attack when you come onto me because I know you're going to want me to be satisfied and I know I won't be. I don't want it when you want it. I want it when I'm fuckin done with whatever the hell I'm doing.

You're too nice.... but I also don't like it when you're not nice... Can't you be that positive, individual man that I love? The one that's polite and kind but is still his own person?

It's not okay to use suicide as a means to keep me with you. That's dumb and childish and a really low move.

I don't really fucking know what I'm going to do about all of this.... I guess I'll talk to you about it when I see you.